I've always longed for an art I could call my own.

As opposed to merely being a jill-of-all-trades (but a master of none), having a particular specialty just really seems more appealing sometimes. From this POV where my own speciality's still vague, it looks as though being genuinely proud of having been able to pursue a certain skill or talent can really bring anyone a good sense of fulfillment--- particularly in trying to uncover a part of who they are and an equally essential part of what they have to offer in this world.

Minsan nakakainggit din yung mga taong nababansagan na sa ngalan ng mga hilig nila... tulad na lang ni Michelle Kwan, sa ice-skating; o ni Julia Roberts sa acting; or ni CJ De Silva sa painting; o kahit si Manny Pacquiao sa boxing. With all of these amazing people in the papers or wherever it's hard not to want something you could call your own as well... something that could even possibly change the world in the smallest way, whether by inspiring people with it (the power of inspiration does wonders with perspiration... totoo toh) or by literally using it to accomplish something life-changing, once it's infused with the passion you've placed into that particular aspect.

Perhaps one of the biggest things that has hindered me from attaining that "specialty" in its maximum level is the fact that I allowed myself to lose interest in the things I've tried out before for shallow reasons, despite the fact that I enjoy doing these things anyway (like piano). Even more than this is my tendency to succumb to contradicting external forces such as lack of time or resources for pursuing my interests.

Pero di ba, sabi nila, "kung ayaw, maraming dahilan; pag gusto, maraming paraan"? I think this statement's enough to show that attaining what I want is still possible... so long as I have the right drive and discipline for it.

Sana, one day, matupad na ung gusto ko... and as of now, it's iceskating, after watching that DOI show and watching our old videos of iceskating 2 summers ago. I reallym really want to ice-skate again and pursue it this time... sayang kasi eh. Tumigil ako noon dahil sa kakulangan sa oras at sa kamahalan ng lessons, pero sobrang gusto ko bumalik... I even remember wanting to be part of a Disney on Ice production before, back when I first watched their rendition of The Little Mermaid years ago. Also, I'd like to continue my piano lessons and maximize them this time.. sayang lang tlaga.

hay... I hate having dreams on hold. I want to grow old knowing that I did what I loved and made use of it in the best way I could and changed the world with it. Hehehe... okay I'm exaggerating but the point is there.

Ah... I really dont know... basta... ill keep on dreaming... sana malipisan ko na lahat ng frustrations na ito... one day...

"we will be GREAT someday monica" - winged turtle duckie