May you rest in peace Luke Lising. +

I didn't know him in any other way except by name and by face, but his death nonetheless struck me for some reason. To think that it happened so unexpectedly to someone so young and already graduating really scared me, and it reminded me that you'll never really know when your time will end... it could get cut short in the next few hours, or minutes even, for all you know. Needless to say, it gave me the valuable reminder that LIFE IS TRULY A ONE-TIME BIG-TIME EXPERIENCE.

In the same span of time I learned about this, I had a very frustrating end to last Tuesday, when I managed to waste yet another ONE. Nakakadisappoint at nakakapika na. I couldn't help but feel incredibly hopeless in attaining what I wanted after that, because I ruined it again. Nanghihinayang nalang ako because nothing ever seems to happen whenever I encourage myself to do better.

However, looking back on what happened to Luke made me realize that I really needed a good change of perspective with regards to this frustration of mine, because I know that this really won't matter in the long run. This is just a tiny, microscopic, insignificant pixelated pixel in this kazallilion-pixelled universe and I should really start spending less of my time thinking about it and more of my time enjoying the kazillion other pixels that this universe has to offer me.

I promised myself after this that whatever happens, I won't let anything get in my way of enjoying this intricately beautiful--for all its ups and downs and rollercoaster tracks and every little detail that comes with it-- life that I have right now. I WANT TO FEAR NOTHING ELSE BUT THE UNLIVED LIFE NOW (alongside ghosts and morbid things... and flying cockroaches. stupid things). THERE IS SO, SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN YOU or YOU or THAT, and I'm keeping that in my head for as long as I can.


"...lahat naman tayo mamamatay eh. Una-unahan lang yan."
at hindi ako nagmamadali=)