2005 has arrived, but I'm slightly disappointed with the absence of any change around here. It might sound stupid, but every New Year, it just seems like something has to feel different just to ensure you that you're entering a whole new direction away from all the things you'd been wanting to change for good. I know this is too idealistic of me to experience a sudden change overnight but I can't help it right now. I don't want to feel like I just left myself in 2004.

A Brief Glimpse at 2004
Looking back at things now, it's easy to see that the rumors really ARE true-- fourth year just doesn't wait for you. 3/4 of my last highschool SY as already zoomed me by without warning, and I'm still surprised to be finding myself on the verge of starting the last quarter I will ever be having in MCHS.

But this doesn't mean that the year was quick as it was meaningless. Actually, the year 2004 was filled with a lot of incredible experiences-- our junior prom, my 16th birthday, the AHS prom, the lit crit relief, the endless swimming trips, the taboo issue, my first taste of rebellion, the emergence of 3questions, the failed but fun cc business, the SI trip, the summer of lessons, the arrival of Ate Girlie and Kuya Mark, the Qatar trip, the blessed Bangkok trip, Simba's death, Albus' death, dance in Koine, the emergence of my secondcrush, the unexpected position, the COLLEGE BUG that continues to haunt me, the arrival of a home in tauphi, the perseverance of academic SLOTH, my first exam failure, the inconsistent returns to Koine, electives, photography, the arrival of fairytales and cheese, hell weeks, more academics, the Baguio retreat, the missing Christmas warmth, the MMSK sleepover, the EK trips, and a whole lot more.

2004 taught me how to live more and love more, cliche as it may sound. It also made way for me to discover my own priorities in life-- and how learning to love where you're placed can do wonders for your own happiness. It was a memorable year, and I don't have any regrets with how everything fell into, or even out of place.

The in/famous newyear's resolutions
So maybe 2005 doesn't feel very real as of the moment partially due to the fact that I haven't been pushing myself to do any work or make any real resolutions yet. But who can blame anyone? These past few days have been so wrapped up in family events that I've been finding it hard to tear away from my lolo's house in fear of not being able to spend enough time with some of my cousins and relatives before they go back home for school/work again. Si Ate KC nga nakauwi na. The knowledge that everyone has to go back to their limited-free-time-lives switches me to back-to-school-mode, which I am still not ready for, mind you.

Anyway, since all the family events are now (unfortunately) about over, I guess I can already start attempting to create a fresh start again and make myself feel that 2005 really has arrived already. I've decided to post up a list of all my wishes for 2005.

Contrary to the assumed definition of a wish, I'm going to try and make these wishes go beyond this blog. Susubukan kong tuparin ang ilan sa mga ito, especially those I really want to attain. I want to get a good view of all my goals before I resolve to do anything.


1) a Better Life in College
This means more focus, organization, independence, determination, and love for whatever I'm going to do. I have no idea which course I'm going to be landing in, but whatever it is, I'm going to have to learn to love it (otherwise, shift! :P hopefully I won't have to though...). At the same time, this means LESS cramming, laziness, and complacency. And, a LOT more should be going for my spiritual life. I've been making too little time for God during the past year. I'm so sorry for that.

2) More hours of sleep for me in the months to come!
I already know I get cranky or more prone to bad moods whenever I don't get enough sleep, but sleeping past midnight has become part of my daily routine already from what 2004 got me starting with. I hate it a lot and my system needs the change badly. This will entail more scheduling and MUCH better time management (this is my weak spot), and SELF-DISCIPLINE. Less time on the internet too.

3) More time for the things I WANT to do...
My academic life has been taking over my own wants in life. I want to draw, write, dance, ice-skate, swim, play PS2 again, do photography, read, and whatnot. I want to enjoy the things I have been wanting to enjoy doing during these past few months of hellish graveyard happiness. Argh. Likewise, this will need GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT too.

4) MORE Exercise.
I want to get myself involved in a good sport. I want badminton, soccer, or skating. Anything that will help me stay fit throughout the upcoming schoolyears.

5) A better memory
For some stupid reason, I've been finding myself with short-term memory loss during these past few months. I can't seem to remember where I place things anymore. Argh. It's so annoying. I need to focus again... and stop thinking of so many things. Less worrying, better put.

6) a better mica
A better version of myself. How? That's for me to decipher privately. =)

So that's my wishlist. I don't know if this drive I have right now will be with me throughout the entire year, but I'll be doing what I can.

Happy New Year guys. :)