(edited) Belated Happy Birthday to BOB (doo you eat curry for breakfast?) and her twin Xandre! :)

My first days of back-to-graveyard-happiness went okay. I'm just disappointed with my entire drivelessness in doing my best in school now; parang wala na talaga akong ganang magtiyaga, kahit anong gawin ko. Even my grades seem to be dropping slowly-- our 3rd quarter results just came out recently, and although they were all passing, none of them were very satisfactory. Only Math and CL came out less crappy. But I can't help it anymore... no matter how many times I remind myself to pay good attention to Sir Salayo and study for quizzes/exams, I find myself doing otherwise. It's hard focusing now especially when you know you're already graduating and that you have a lot of other, more important things to think about.



LIKE COLLEGE. I know worrying won't do me any good, but it's torture forcing yourself not to think about it. I REGRET not having done my part of studying enough to face the UPCAT and the ACET, at masamang masama ang loob ko doon. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang haharap sa akin ngayong Sabado sa mga resulta, at NATATAKOT AKONG MALAMAN kung makakasama pa sa buhay ko sa kolehiyo ang unibersidad ng Ateneo. I just don't know what to expect. At first, I really wanted to go to Ateneo to look at the results for myself... but having thought it over a while ago, I realized that I'm not feeling brave to face the possible absence of my name on the list right now. It's pessimistic, but I don't want to expect anything. Ipapahanap ko nalang sa iba... besides, even my brother isn't going to personally scan the list of passers. At ayokong maghanap ng maghanap ng maghanap... para lang malaman na wala ang pangalan ko. Argh, I just want to expect the worst right now.

And if ever the worst does manage to arrive, whether for Ateneo or UP or both (KNOCK ON WOOD), I'm going to have to face it and move on... but not necessarily without tears. TAKOT NA AKO. takot na talaga ako.

Lord, please..... grant us the courage and wisdom we need to face things maturely and accept whatever you give us this coming Saturday and on the judgement day #2 - for UP.

Argh, whatever happens, I'll have to live by the words LET IT BE... Lord, please, please help us accept your plan for us, whatever it may be.

THY WILL BE DONE...